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How to Confront a Friend

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Adam Dorsay, PsyD

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Licensed Counselor

This article was co-authored by Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook’s Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2022 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008. This article has been viewed 93,700 times.

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Co-authors: 18

Updated: October 29, 2022

Views: 93,700

Article SummaryX

Confronting a friend can be tough, but sometimes it’s the best way to clear the air and keep your friendship healthy. If you need to confront a friend to fix a problem between you, prepare yourself by working out what you want to say. To avoid sounding accusatory, write a list of your emotions using “I-statements” that reflect how you feel. For example, you might write: “I felt really hurt when you joked about my nerdiness in front of my crush.” Try to rehearse what you want to say so you will remember it later. You might even ask another friend to practice role playing the confrontation to give you confidence. Once you’re ready to speak to your friend, remember to start by telling them how important they are to you before explaining you have something you need to say. Keep reading for more tips, including how to keep your friendship positive after the confrontation.

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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 93,700 times.