The Funniest Parenting Tweets

Parenting is set love, balancing priorities, managing duties… and having the ability to snort about it all, in fact! Those Twitter mothers and fathers are utterly fair about elevating their youngsters. What’s extra, they continuously confess their trials and tribulations within the funniest techniques.

The truth about parenting.My wife just pulled me into the other room and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk but she just wanted to give me m&m’s without the kids seeing.(*1*)I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.(*5*)You will never realize your full potential for speed and agility until the day you see your toddler holding a Sharpie marker

I just yelled, “1, 2, 3 mommy is lava!” and my kids ran away, leaving me to drink my coffee in peace. I’m pretty sure I’ve peaked for the day.Spoiler alert: Kids are the most expensive free thing you'll ever have.I want my 13 year old to understand how important honesty is but also know that she is 12 when kids eat free.When a three year old gets all serious and looks deep into your eyes, you're not having a moment. They're just pooping.I don’t know why people say having a dog prepares you for having a kid because my dog has never wanted to watch Frozen 47 days in a row.My 3 year old, who doesn’t notice her pants are inside out or that her shoes are on the wrong feet, can spot a diced onion in her food from 3 feet awayThere needs to be a Robin Hood like person, who steals energy from kids and gives it to their parents.In case you were on the fence about having kids, my 3-year-old threw a temper tantrum because her tongue is pink.(*15*)My son is having a hard time getting over the fact we’re not naming his new baby sister Megatron.I buckled a toddler into a car seat twice today, so we both burned the same amount of calories."You're a HORRIBLE parent!"My 4yo just asked me if I was there when we went to Disney 6 weeks ago for 5 days, so I’m obviously making a huge impact in her life.The best thing about trying to name a baby, is realising how many people you hate.(*13*)It's Friday night and you know what that means. Nothing. I'm a parent, it means absolutely nothing.(*3*)

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